Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
More of the same from Die Hard Arcade, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
Impressive amount of playable characters by the end of the game but otherwise not really all that great, I thought.
Interesting as a weird curiosity - a beatemup spinoff of House of the Dead - but otherwise not much to enjoy here. I do like that they threw in a Yusaku Matsuda-inspired guy for no reason.
Another Three Kingdoms one. That's all I've got.
Intensely ugly game.
Just rewatch the movie, which is very good, instead of playing this game, which is very bad.
Had to give up on this one because I was playing on emulator and the button sensitivity stuff just didn't work. From what I played it felt like this game could probably be finished in about 15 minutes if you skipped every cutscene (which I will absolutely be doing if I ever play a proper copy).
Don't have much to say about the game, but Joe Madureira should be outlawed.
Not ringing many bells. I think it was another digitised one?
Supremely frustrating game because it looks and sounds absolutely awesome - they are clearly pushing the Neo Geo to its absolute limit - but it plays like complete ass. It takes two full attack strings to break open an item barrel. Every aspect of gameplay is coated in extra thick molasses.
Do celebrities get mad when people make shitty games with their name on them? I would.
Beatemup/adventure game hybrid that isn't too great but has some real slick animation. There's one kick in this that I've absolutely seen before but I can't place where from. I think it might be a KOF2002 animation.
Bad. It's not worth it.
Don't remember much of this beyond there being some long button combinations you had to do for specific sections.
About as good as GT: Final Bout, i.e. not very.
Not amazing but a pretty charming little game. Parrying blaster bolts back will always be fun.
Very cool game. Remake this please.
Replay. Bad. Everyone knows it.
This is pretty cool but I'm not into Mortal Kombat so I couldn't be bothered finishing it. Probably really fun with two players.
Replay. One of the best games ever made. If you've never played God Hand, please go play God Hand.
Completely odious game. I genuinely have no idea why or how this got made.
Probably a little overlong for what it is, but this is a solid GBA game.
Replay. Didn't like it on release, didn't like it now.
Actually pretty good! Just a shame that it contains Doug "The Nostalgia Critic" Walker. If you play it, just try to pretend he's not there.
Nothing like the PS2 game, but a lot like a whole bunch of garbage beatemups. Don't bother with it.
Replay. Couldn't stand this game when it came out, can't stand the franchise in general. Anamanaguchi can also go away.
Another Guardian Heroes-alike. I don't think I'm into these, sorry!
Fun as a tribute to the NES but it couldn't really hold my attention.
At least, another actually good Double Dragon game! It can be frustrating at points (staring directly at the final boss) but I think the dodge stuff is really fun. Not huge into the 80s throwback stuff, it's always under about ten separate layers of irony, but it does have the single best rendition of the Double Dragon theme.
This is in the same vein as something like The Dishwasher for me - i.e., games that I assume you're probably into if you like Jhonen Vasquez.
A good take on the formula laid down by the D&D games. Just went on a bit too long for me at the time, but I want to get back to it.
This has about as much relation to actual Double Dragon as the movie does. Total slop, don't even think about it.
Scott Pilgrim, but now composed exclusively of anime pervert characters. I wish for a world where its kind cannot exist.
Hyper-edgy game. Combat is pretty satisfying but not deep enough to justify the length and large number of samey enemies.
Scott Pilgrimcore. Nope.
More Kunio-kun that I cannot abide.
An interesting deviation from the standard belt scroller formula, but not very engaging beyond that.
Why does this game look like this? Who put them up to it?
Trying very hard to be the NES games, but not quite managing it. A bit sad about this one.
Genuinely astounding effort for one guy. Awesome combo system, this was walking the Streets of Rage 4 walk before that game existed. Only problems I have with it are the lighting is a bit much at times and the main girl leans way too hard into anime fanservice for my taste. Genuinely really good game.
Even worse than regular River City Ransom, because it introduces a bunch of characters who would be cool in any other game but are stuck in this one.
Weird not-very-good game that feels like it's some in-joke I'm not getting between steamers or something.
It's really fun that a game devoted to a mainstay Italian cinema duo exists, and it looks really good, but the gameplay could never be accused of being deep. Whole bunch of beatemups like this.
Just looked and felt low-rent, like a Flash game you would have played in the early 2000s. The whole ancient warriors fuck yeah thing isn't really for me either.
Why does THIS game look like this? Who put THEM up to it?
This game can fuck right off. Honestly.
Mechanically fine but the style just isn't my thing.
Replay. I think this game is cool although it's often an absolute chore to play. If it was half as long it'd be great.
Cool stuff here, almost rhythm-game like. Some of the bosses can be frustrating but I had a good time with it.
I have nothing but disdain for this. Genuinely repellent to me.
A good remake of the good remake. Japanese title is better.
A throwback to Renegade, so not something I really want to bother with.
Thought this might be cool but as soon as I saw the battle system I nope'd straight out. Not in the market for turn-based beatemups, sorry.
Not really into the style of it but it plays pretty well! Was surprised at this one.
I'm not really sure who this is for.
Wanted to like this, but I just found it kind of obnoxious, and I don't think it's a particularly good beatemup. Disappointing.
Replay. This close to being a perfect videogame. It really is just stupidly good. Play it now if you haven't already!
Easily the best Turtles beatemup, just brimming with personality. Went through singleplayer and with four players and had an absolute blast. Best OST of the year easily as well.
Pretty decent game! An oddity in that it's very clearly trying to ape the SNK/KOF look - not really something I associate with the genre. It's pretty basic, but short and sweet, worth playing if you can grab it cheap. You may also notice that this is the fourth game of this genre on the list so far that has Genzoman cover art. There can be too much of a good thing.
I'm just confused that this was made and released. Did nobody involved know they were making a crap game? Who was it meant to please?
Had this game in progress for literal years, finally made the effort to finish it this year. It's fine for a short choose your own adventure type thing, don't really have all that much to say about it.
Better than the previous one, I think. I'd be willing to play more of these.
Fun point-and-click that has a bunch of sections where you'll have to do some googling about real-world locations and history. I like when games do that kind of thing!
I was having fun with this, but my save messed up and I haven't gone back to it yet.
The bad kind of FMV game and also barely functional. The cheek of them to act like this is some unearthed classic of the genre.
I've played all of 10 minutes of this so far, can't say anything.
Sublime remake package. I've played this so much this year. THPS gameplay has aged like a fine wine.
Fairly standard beatemup but the Conan aesthetic is very strong here. Has that one great track that's in Taiko as well.
Another game I'd had sitting for ages and finally got around to finishing. The final stretch of this had me dancing about like a madman. Real highpoint of the series stuff.
Same story, sitting for ages, finally finished. I didn't like this nearly as much as the original but ate up all the first game fanservice like a champ, so it's all good by me.
Watching my cousin play this traumatised me as a kid, finally decided to face my demons and play it. Inventory management and backtracking are not very exciting - dropped it with no plans to return after getting out of the police station.
Avoided this for ages because of the shift to JRPG combat, finally gave it a go since it was free on PS+ and confirmed my fears. Just don't enjoy it at all. The battle UI looks insanely cheap as well.
Started this whilst I was on a bit of a Holmes kick from watching some of the Jeremy Brett series. I cooled off but I'll get back to it eventually!
Played the original and thought it was boring as hell. In years since I've seen a lot of people talk about how good it was, so I thought I might not have given it a fair shake before and tried this out. I was right the first time.
Don't like Guilty Gear at all but played this with some friends who were trying to get into it. If I played it I would main Venom.
Relentless game. Cruel!
Liked this more than the first game, but the difficulty is still absolutely sadistic.
Also very hard! Such a cool game though.
Still hard, still cool. Great music in this.
Decidedly less cool.
Wasn't really into this either. Wouldn't be the Game Gear if it wasn't hit or miss, I guess!
Same story, just can't match up to the main games.
Not quite as punishing as Revenge, but also more simplistic in level design. That's my only complaint, though - this game rules otherwise. You can tell they're really pushing the Mega Drive as far as it'll go. Looks awesome, sounds awesome, bunch of new movement options, good game.
Adding in live-action FMVs are fun but otherwise this is an immediate step down from 3.
What a great game! Wish I'd played this at the time as it probably would have blown me away. Hey, listen to this!
Sadly nowhere near as good as the original Revenge.
The first PS2 game iterated on slightly, i.e. very good. You should play these!
There's something I can never quite put my finger on about 3DS platformers. They always feel like they have pretty similar physics to them, and I don't think those feel particularly good. Didn't jive with this but you could probably do worse.
For no reason I can discern the song It Came From Japan by the Von Bondies popped into my head, and I had to remember why I even know that song, and I remembered it's because it was in this game so I had to go play it. THPS it is not.
Played this to test out an Apple TV I had to get for work. Thoroughly depressing.
The amount of work that's gone into this is insane, and it wasn't for nothing: this game is very cool! I need to play more.
Fun throwback shooter - I'd never heard of it but a friend said hey, you might like this and they were right. Nice!
Very dope. I was halfway through it before I got "Hard Corps". I played as the wolf guy obviously, he has shades.
Only played the first mission and then put it to the side because I felt like it would deserve some proper time dedicated to it. One for next year.
Extremely dope. I was only able to finish it with save states, but I want to try without because it really is just that cool. Play it!
Also very cool! Good name to say as well. GUNSTAR
Played for 10 minutes and refunded it. If I want to waste my time I've a million other pointless games and they let me press an attack button.
Probably wouldn't have played this if it wasn't attached to an Amemiya movie. Very frustrating at points!
Wasn't too keen on where this one ended up but it's an interesting take on FMV games nonetheless. I would watch all of the movies in it.
Essential Amemiyacore. Very fun movement and awesome art direction - the Zeiram hat is flying around in here! Watch out!!
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.