Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
This is in the same vein as something like The Dishwasher for me - i.e., games that I assume you're probably into if you like Jhonen Vasquez.
Another unfinished. A PS4 game that is clearly in reality a PS3 game. A theme song can only carry a game so far. Combat just doesn't have the oomph you want from a mech game and I'll be honest, I don't know how people can play these kinds of dating sim-adjacent things without feeling horribly embarrassed at every moment.
Replay. One of Capcom's many remakes of Final Fight But in [Setting]. This time it's the grim future of...uh...4 years from now. It's fine, mostly gets points for being a little weird. Mack the Knife rules.
Just okay. By this point I'd definitely cemented that I preferred Cave to Psikyo.
Started this in 2021 but got around to finishing it in 2022. I like the new cel-shaded look but I'd rather play SW4-II. A little too light on character variety. Shikanosuke Yamanaka is very dreamy!
Pretty much the same deal as RayCrisis for me. Decent, but if I was going to go back to a polygonal shmup it'd be Radiant Silvergun over any of these.
Is there any earlier example of Just Defend in a game? Capcom beating SNK to the punch by 8 years. It's fine enough I guess, but later efforts are much better.
Replay. Hell yeah man. A super ambitious game that combines Cool Adventures with some absolutely primo Capcom art work. I went through it solo but I bet this'd be a total blast on Fightcade. Only complaint is that the controls can be a little fiddly.
I played the Japanese version, Gun-Dec. Ninja Gaiden-ish for the most part, there's also some driving stages that are essentially on-road shmup sections. Had never heard of it before this year, it's cool!
This is what I wish wizards in movies and stuff were like. Just firing huge amounts of magic shit at everyone constantly. Doing a highest level Dragon's Dogma spell 50 times a minute. ZAP
Wasn't really all that into it, but it's at the very least better than Final Fight 2, which is kind of embarrassing.
Replay. Couldn't stand this game when it came out, can't stand the franchise in general. Anamanaguchi can also go away.
Replay. Have never liked this game - I guess you can say the RPG elements were worth trying at the time, but I think the implementation here just goes against what's actually fun about the genre. And obviously it directly led to the Scott Pilgrim game, which is even worse.
Same story, just can't match up to the main games.
It's Warriors Orochi, it's good. I think this one isn't quite up to the same level of 3 Ultimate, but you're still guaranteed a fun time. The designs of the new characters are very funny to me - stupid sexy Hades!
Another great OST. Game is extremely hard, though.
Better than the previous one, I think. I'd be willing to play more of these.
Replay. Not really sure why I went back to this. I think it was because I had been saying "Deathstroke the Terminator" out loud a lot and thinking it was really funny.
Fun throwback shooter - I'd never heard of it but a friend said hey, you might like this and they were right. Nice!
Thought 2 was a bit of an easier ride and then 3 decided they'd given me enough leeway. I was happy to finally go through all of these but they were an ordeal and a half.
Tried this after enjoying the Gunvolt stuff but I wasn't into how it controlled at all.
Think this was an Eighting one? Tiny bullets. Tiny!
Replay. Isn't it kind of wild that this exists? It's hilarious how massive the Kingpin is in the final boss fight.
Not really into the style of it but it plays pretty well! Was surprised at this one.
I don't really remember anything about this, but I shelved it, so I must have thought it was decent enough to go back to at some point.
I remember this being fairly basic but fun. A lot of these PC-Engine games have good music that is totally overpowered by loud, bad SFX.
For no reason I can discern the song It Came From Japan by the Von Bondies popped into my head, and I had to remember why I even know that song, and I remembered it's because it was in this game so I had to go play it. THPS it is not.
Fantastic animation ruined by physics and controls unchanged from the 80s. I've no idea why folk bother doing stuff like this.
Kind of cool, but just a little too annoying for me.
Unique presentation although I didn't think it was an especially great game. Great title though.
Played the original and thought it was boring as hell. In years since I've seen a lot of people talk about how good it was, so I thought I might not have given it a fair shake before and tried this out. I was right the first time.
More of the same from Die Hard Arcade, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
It feels really difficult in these Psikyo joints to claw back your momentum after getting killed. Like, moreso than most other shmups. And I get killed a lot so that's trouble!
What a game. Max Payne's Pro Skater. When you hit your groove and are actually doing well, you feel like the coolest motherfucker in the world. Very good idea to rip off Rollerball wholesale, because Rollerball is definitely cool in concept, but is mostly pretty boring outside of the actual match scenes. Very glad I played this!
Replay. Awesome game but it is so incredibly punishing. Whoever designed the bird enemy should face charges.
Some decent moments to build up the tension in this, and the subject matter is mildly interesting, but there's not really much else to say about it. It does get a bit on the nose with the "CIA bad" message at points, but well, yeah, they are bad, sure!
Fun as a tribute to the NES but it couldn't really hold my attention.
My 360 is broken and I couldn't be holed emulating so Black was out of the question, had to settle for this. Is it as good? Absolutely not. It's still Ninja Gaiden though, it's still a good game.
This is how you use a license, because it is 10x funnier to try and pass this off as a John McClane adventure. Mental game. There's a review on here that calls it the father of the Yakuza series and they're completely right.
Konami's best effort by a country mile, probably because it's just a Final Fight remake in all but name. Super punchy and satisfying to play, absolutely awesome soundtrack accompanies the carnage. Buy me Violent Storm or go to hell!
Okay this one is worse.
Played the Japanese release, where it's a game adaptation of the anime Area 88 (high melodrama, watch it). Why is this game so hard!
Can't stand turn-based JRPG combat unless it's tactics style, so I thought this would finally be my in as it looked like it had some charm and was an action hybrid. The combat is just too basic for me though and you can really tell the whole thing is a remake of a SNES game. Abysmal dialogue as well. I got a fair bit in so I'll maybe finish it at some point, but woof.
Oh jeez, I played this last week and it's completely left my head already.
Okay I don't remember this one.
Better than Final Fight 2 for sure, but still pretty lackluster. There isn't even boss music! What the hell!
What a great game! Wish I'd played this at the time as it probably would have blown me away. Hey, listen to this!
I guess this is okay, but I'd rather play SNES Turtles in Time if I've got to play Turtles in Time.
Metal Slug-ish. Not as good as any of those but still okay!
Impressive effort for a NES game but playing it in amongst so many technically superior games did it no favours for me. Maybe one day.
Even worse than regular River City Ransom, because it introduces a bunch of characters who would be cool in any other game but are stuck in this one.
Probably would have liked it a lot if I played it at the time of release, but this ended up being a big-time disappointment. Just felt sluggish and killing things took forever. Obviously looks awesome, though.
The essence of the arcade game. You're on a hoverboard, you punch stuff. It's good.
Impossibly fast. Possibly made to see how much the NES can't handle? If there's anyone out there who has 1CC'd this they should be preserved in a museum.
A little too samey throughout but it's cool that they tried it. They managed to make the mechs feel really big and heavy, and of course Blodia is just a cool design. Glad they reused it.
I have nothing but disdain for this. Genuinely repellent to me.
Got a couple of levels in before deciding I couldn't be holed at the minute. I'll get back to it at some point.
More of the same. The cover art for these is really cool though, right?
Actually pretty good! Just a shame that it contains Doug "The Nostalgia Critic" Walker. If you play it, just try to pretend he's not there.
This is also awesome.
One of the best - maybe the best-looking arcade games of the era. Seriously, it's ridiculous! I'm amazed this has never had a home release. Gameplay-wise, well, it's yet more Golden Axe. If you like it you like it. I like it!
Cool little idea. I like games with boats.
Barely out of the tutorial. Need to get back to it.
Played this with some folk during a Work Get Together. Knowing you can't win but can deny someone else their shot is intoxicating.
Same as Gunbird.
Replay. Didn't like it on release, didn't like it now.
Originally played the SNES version, so here I went for the arcade release, which like the '89 game is trash. Legendary soundtrack but that's it.
Can't really remember anything of it, but I feel like I should.
Similar to Battle Garegga, so it's decent enough but not one of my favourites. The number of ships available is pretty good!
Meanwhile, a Castlevania 3 clone. Also fine. Good music!
Not quite as strong a game as some of Capcom's other heavy hitters on this list, but man, I wish they still made games that looked like this.
A good take on the formula laid down by the D&D games. Just went on a bit too long for me at the time, but I want to get back to it.
You walk around in eight directions and you shoot stuff. Sometimes that's all you need!
I was having fun with this, but my save messed up and I haven't gone back to it yet.
Better than Guardian Heroes, although I didn't finish it at the time. I remember thinking the combo system was actually pretty good. Will get back to it.
Super creative designs and a very fun core concept (what if Power Rangers were ninjas who did baseball), but I don't think the gameplay quite matches up to the heights of the presentation. This is one game where I actually would want to see a remake that punched things up a bit.
Really tough in parts, but still a really cool game. Honorary Amemiyacore.
It's pretty cool, isn't it? I noticed the other day that I've finally been knocked off the top of my friends list by a few seconds. Raging. Will have to go back to it!
Replay. Same as VSav and COTA. Maybe the most 90s game of all time.
Replay. Remake of the arcade game that is better than the arcade game. Love to see it! Only complaint is it doesn't have Daddy Mulk.
A better game than Lords of Thunder despite coming first.
Metal Slug-ish, but before Metal Slug, by the folk who would make Metal Slug. Covering a wider arc because of your dual guns is cool!
Not much here. Platformer with some rules quirks that you can finish in one quick sitting. Again, one you play once and never go back to, but that's fine.
Finally, a SotN clone that includes one of the most important aspects of SotN: the Alucard Strut. Look at that walk animation! Hell yeah!
Short and sweet, it's a little on the easier side but you could do a lot worse.
Short and sweet, it's a little on the easier side but you could do a lot worse.
It's fine!
Only just getting round to playing this now with the full release. It's Warband but more, which is fine!
Darius Gaiden's little brother. Great atmosphere and boss designs makes up for slightly subpar gameplay.
Replay. Never finished it originally so I restarted and went through it. It's fine since it really is just trying as hard as it can to be a SotN clone, but as is the case with every SotN clone, it's not as good as SotN.
Oh, this is just Beatmania. Well cool, I like Beatmania! Also I'm terrible at Beatmania!
Can't really remember it. Looks good from screenshots though!
Probably the best of the bunch overall that I'd played on PC-Engine up to this point.
Cool game! Doesn't scare me at all, which is maybe not a good thing, but I like Junji Ito and have always been vaguely intrigued by Uninvited, so the game's style works for me.
This is pretty cool but I'm not into Mortal Kombat so I couldn't be bothered finishing it. Probably really fun with two players.
The start of a run of PC-Engine/CD games I decided to play. Pretty rough and unpolished but it looks cool and the soundtrack is awesome.
Cool game. Iceman's post-mission dialogue is incredible.
Replay. The final evolution of Capcom's Final Fight remakes. What a cool game! Really sucks that it's likely lost to the wilderness forever.
Essential Amemiyacore. Very fun movement and awesome art direction - the Zeiram hat is flying around in here! Watch out!!
From what I remember this was the sequel to Sorcer Striker? Hasn't really stuck in the mind much for me. Dimahoo is a very fun name to say though. Dimahoo, Dimahoo, Dimahoo!
Played for 10 minutes and refunded it. If I want to waste my time I've a million other pointless games and they let me press an attack button.
Definitely has more effort put into it than a bunch of the other licensed musous but I will never understand why they keep removing the ability to jump from these.
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.