A loud, maximalist exclamation of the human spirit. Messy, overstuffed, and narratively unsubtle. There are moments of pure annoyance and stagnation, only to be paid off with climaxes of pure catharsis. Knowingly and proudly buckles under its own weight. Everything is thrown at the wall here with zero regard for what sticks. Oddly enough, the end result is the Yakuza series at the peak of its development; a story of personal realization, reflective of its own roots and progression, so large, impactful and conscious of its character arcs, exploring both heritage and future. Its story is so monumental it makes all of Y6, nay, the entire narrative up to this point, feel like its epilogue. An egregious course of comfort food, uncaring that you won't enjoy every dish, knowing it has well enough for you to enjoy and fill yourself anyway. Unashamed to be itself, warts, wounds and all. The end and beginning of the Dream.

I don't know what to say about RE4 that hasn't already been said. Fuck me what a great game. "The third act sucks" YOU suck

Every bit deserving of its hallmark status. Narratively transcendent. A juggernaut example of its genre's storytelling capabilities and ludic synergies.

Pikmin's holistic ideal. Embracing quite literally every aspect of its history and identity, acknowledging and rectifying its missteps while turning a new leaf on the whole, only being humbled by a few mechanical nitpicks in the end. Compliments its addictive nature by being the most stuffed to the brim with content, three-to-four times more than its contemporary average. I can nitpick it to death; its strategic combat complexities are non-existent here, the handful of reused cave sets can get tiresome, unrespawning overworld enemies eventually create barren stages in the late game, yet somehow, its newfound focus of dandori is so fully realized and brain-stimulating at high level I couldn't get enough of it. Up to four times as long as its formers and this is the one I wanted to play more of when I finished. Forced my girlfriend to play Dandori Battle with me a bit too much.

Review here. Masterfully utilizing simplicity. Not a single moment where I wasn't having an absolute blast. One of the most confident platformers to exist.

Review here.

Review here. Deserves to stand among some of the most iconic and artful indie titles like Cave Story, Cuphead, Hypnospace Outlaw, etc. Encapsulates everything about the indie spirit, wearing its influences on its sleeve with unique artistic injections. Impeccably designed for speedrunning/score attack optimization and an unparalleled sense of momentum. Had me genuinely cackling from joy at every corner. Pure mania from start to finish. Mama mia.

Played as part of Sonic Origins Plus. Yeah whatever it's the best 2D platformer ever made and I've only played it maybe a hundred times.

An underappreciated gem, continues Ridge Racer's legacy for humanistic, era-cultural celebration. A perfect PSP title. Also the best playing entry in the series.

A case study of mechanical polish. This is the result of knowing exactly what makes Pikmin's titles work and understanding what historically hasn't, and pushing that divide until the end product is a strategy game as wholly rich in player agency it can allow with no obstructions or contrivances. It's the type of perfected formula you can only get by a third installment; strengthening the core of its first and adjusting the unchecked ambition of its second.

Not much I can say that deviates from the consumer norm; bound with personality and the most fun Mario has felt to play since NSMBW, but there's a glooming feeling of holding back that hurts it. Where I was genuinely awestruck at the amount of variety the Wonder Flower presents in each stage, the lack of boss variety and its resulting world-end repetition, measly portions of afterthought inclusions like the Airships and single(?) Ghost House make me feel teased. Played the whole game in co-op with my partner. Feels like a completely different game with its online co-op activated. Thousands of Marios and Luigis and Nabbits working together, communicating verbalessly, extending hands to save falling strangers. Reminds me of Journey.

It's not the Sonic game I would have wanted in a million years, but so finely capable on its own speedy legs. I feel as though at times it feels like too much game, and I certainly don't want to go through another half-decade drought until the next installment if Sonic Team decides to double down on the massive open-zone format. Frontiers was the ambitious title Sonic needed to get his feet back on the ground after a whole decade plus of tripping and stumbling, and I couldn't help but be overwhelmed with emotions at times from the sheer success it managed to pull off, but in light of all my enjoyment I cannot find this model of game sustainable (and my feelings for massive open world game titles that take more than half a decade of development time are synergized across every series that has done it). I was enjoying myself so much that I didn't want to run it out; I was afraid to even play this at times and I managed to spread this 15-hour average game over 25 hours across four months of on-and-off playing. I'm finally finished now, all achievements earned, finally granted the affirmation I and so many others have needed for this franchise. I have a rough draft for an absolute monster of a writeup for this, though I truly do not know if I have the strength to go through with it. My condensed feelings in list note format will have to do for now.

It's finally over. A finale with all shots set to spectacle and hitting every bullseye. Giving every major character and Eorzean Alliance Leader time in the spotlight in just seven quests is an absolute masterstroke, with the parley scene in particular being the dramatic apex of XIV's shockingly strong political worldbuilding. Going beyond the dialogue and having every character around for the final dungeon and duty fight make 4.5 maybe the most harmoniously epic in scale XIV has been thus far. I feel as though it ends a bit prematurely, without the same sense of urgency that pulled me into Heavensward and even Stormblood, but excited all the same to begin Shadowbringers. I do feel as though I will warm up to Stormblood retrospectively as its patches truly wrung out the potential the writing team struggled to extract during its 4.0 run. I will miss the roaring anthem of Ala Mhigo.

It's a buggy budget title. The crafting system is horrible. Some of the worst enemy types in the series. THE worst substories in the series. Unfathomable content bloat makes this the longest title to 100% by a ridiculous margin. Two of the fighting styles are practically useless. The card system can break the combat with zero thinking. I saw the plot twist coming from Chapter One. This being a remake of a 7th gen title makes me miss when games were always this stupid. Serves its purpose as a tide-over until Gaiden and Like A Dragon 8 and then some. Proudly wears its jank on its sleeve. Unironic 9 out of 10. Give me a Kenzan and Dead Souls remake please.

Less note-for-note than I was expecting so my muscle memory from having just played the original could not apply but I was all the more welcome to it. Also sticks to its originals' guns more than I expected what with its still strict inventory/ammo management and persistent bullet sponge zombies. I'm not fond of the new horror trend of super AI tracking enemies that attempt unscripted scenarios of tension by requiring pace-breaking detour finding and hiding in wait like in Alien: Isolation or Amnesia: The Dark Descent, and Mr. X still did not win me over, but his detriments barely chipped at my overall enjoyment thanks how strongly its core and atmosphere persist.

Only years of arcade racing history could influence a game so polished, so perfect. I have genuine trouble putting it down once I start. Has such unbeatable charm and addictive, satisfying arcade driving physics that I can't help but "Just one more run" myself for hours. It's the weight of all human love compressed into a drifting Ferrari. A culmination, nay, a victory lap, of decades of genre evolution.

A dexterous last-minute save. Despite my gripes still lasting through to the end, Stormblood still managed to give itself a roaring finish almost undeserving of such an overlong expansion, saving its most heartfelt and honest character writing until the very end. Finally getting a grip after 150 quests of fumbling, 4.3 is the first time I truly cared about the goings-on of the Scions since patch 3.5.

Even though Y3 is the series' big step into its current formula, I don't feel it is until Y4 where the series really comes into its own. Not since the first game has the story felt as personal or high stakes for three of the new protagonists, with an overarching theme of succession, obligation, and betrayal, tying into events from 1 and 3 and having some of the best character arcs in the series up to this point. (Ironically, for how evenly-multilayered and fresh the game's plot is in a series where I particularly didn't care much for the stories of the previous two installments, Kiryu is the weakest link here and mostly serves as a deus ex in the game's final quarter.) New or old, all the protagonists' fighting styles are fun to play, whether it be Akiyama's quick-attack kick style, Saejima being a charge-attack heat powerhouse, or Tanimura's parry-and-punish gameplay. Yakuza 4 has its rough patches, save a few unsatisfying bosses early on in some of the protagonists' respective stories, climaxing with a final 4-boss in its finale, 3 of which are some of the best fights in the series, and the last one not just being the worst final boss in the series, or the worst boss in the game, but dissapointingly and frustratingly so the worst fight in the series. As the series' second foray into the seventh console generation and forth mainline title overall, with all of the PS3's still-new expanse willing to push this series as far as its willing, Yakuza 4 still manages to successfully strengthen its core and continues the series' upward ascent in quality, despite its flop of a grand finale.

Review here. Second playthrough. My favorite MonHun to revisit in spite of its rather extreme flaws. So many mechanics unseen in other entries makes this a joy to return to. Ambition unwavering.

One of the most deceptively difficult tycoon games I've played - I failed on three attempts on Easy before surviving my first semester. Initially confusing and a bit lost in translation (literally so, there are still some lines and UI elements untranslated), wrangling Let's School's difficulty curve might be one of the most rewarding experiences I've had playing a tycoon. One of the strictest, tightest webs of mechanical variables I've ever had to deal with - if one system falters, everything will fall apart before the next day ends. In that same way, Let's School's requirement of personally assigning, guiding, and ultimately developing each single member of staff displays a shockingly immense respect for its real-life subject matter and the people in its field. Finishing my first school year after my trials and tribulations was cathartic. I was strangely emotional; took at least forty pictures with my homeroom class on graduation.

Almost immediately out of Stormblood does the writing improve, almost comically so. A fun dungeon and one of the best duty fights so far. A hard turn into focusing on character development resulting in some poignant, affecting character moments that Stormblood was so dry and deprived of. Laying the foundation for character redemption arcs I have no answer to being justified (adding all the more to my intrigue), and an overall very promising bridge into Shadowbringers.

Replayed as part of Sonic Origins Plus. I am more no longer letting internet weirdo personalities gaslight me into thinking Sonic CD is some kind of poorly-designed Sonic title that hates the player. If anything, this is Sonic 1's philosophy fully realized, more than Sonic 2 and 3&K ever did, even despite my eternal preference to the latter. Consisted of perfectly-sized gigantuan neonite playgrounds of dreams that beg you to explore every nook and cranny, CD's multilayered treasure hunting approach invites players to really experiment with movement. FUTURE and PAST signs plastered at every avenue give you plenty of chances and opportunities to play with your speed to warp through time, some obvious and some cleverly hidden. The CD-ROM represented Sonic's potential when unbound by its predecessor's hardware limitations. It's recovery from obscurity opened the floodgates for the uninspired, tepid opinions of influential casuals to classify CD as largely inferior to Sonic 2, reason largely being it's "insistance" on hindering Sonic's speed. This is where the hardest pill to swallow comes into play: that Sonic's original core philosophy was always in his physics, not his speed. Sonic was designed as a characteristic pinball. It's why he rolls down slopes. It's why his rounded design and quills can be hunched down into a BALL shape. In reality, as Sonic 2 was developed in America by a largely new team and focused on the occasionally staleing spectacle of going right really fast (with a more modern, uninspired art style I might add,) the passion in Sonic 1's development team effortlessly bled over to CD, evergreen, ever shining. Sonic's speed may be his Americanized ideal, but it was originally an end to a means, a reward for good play that Yuji Naka envisioned. After one more development team split for the development of Sonic 3, Sonic CD was the last and only game to really branch out Sonic 1's pinball-platforming core before transitioning into a high speed platformer, for better or worse, and in a way, no other Sonic game has carried that core philosophy since.

Got a steering/racing wheel to finally scratch my SimRacing itch, but above all, I still had to try this. Oddly therapeutic, one of the definitive go-tos for activity while listening to music, audiobooks, podcasts, etc.

Some jet lag after the bombastic finale that was 4.3. A slow first half that breaks into one of the most memorable dungeons thus far and succeeds in maintaining that momentum with some great character revisits. Really enjoy the writing during the round talks of the geopolitics of Hydaelyn while Shadowbringer's prologue begins to loom. While I'm still not, and never was, wholly partial to the Ascians involvement in XIV's plot as the "shadow cult that only wants to do evil things because they like it," I can't say a bad job is being done building them up as the upcoming central Big Bad, especially after a full title and 2 expansions of them being relegated to background string pullers.

Like all things beautiful, there is not enough time to behold ChuChu Rocket. Finished all 75 puzzles in one sitting but there's more than enough divine chaos to generate in its multiplayer.

(I specifically played the Dreamcast port mostly but everything here still applies to the original arcade version.)
It matters not if I am just a C- rank button masher who can't get past Round 4 in the Arcade Mode. 3rd Strike is probably the most infectious, stylish, unmitigated feat of audio, visual, and mechanical synergy to break the fighting game medium. To this day there still isn't anything quite like it, and none that continuosuly calls to me the way it does.

Cute and addictive chain-popping versus shmup. Rounds being over in mere seconds fuels the desire to keep playing. I wish there were more like it.

It feels too easy to call it the "shitty" one, but there's as much to appreciate as there is to loathe. A staple example title of the messy shift into the seventh generation. All the enthusiasm of going headfirst into the challenge of making what seemed to be impossibly large games, but without the foresight to fine-tune and tweak its parts to reap a maximum sum. In short, it's rough, but all the things that make Like a Dragon such a great and memorable series today can be found here. I unironically think the combat should have always been this punishing. Stop saying the combat sucks in this one and learn to use Tiger Drop.

Review here. A super clean remake with a very thoughtful amount of content.

Review here. An initial exercise in frustration blossoming into an incredibly rewarding horror survival experience.

I don't know if it's the end-all-be-all Tetris client NullpoMino used to be, but I appreciate its super sleek format, hugely customizable rules, and easy hop in/hop out system. The JRPG stock music is also appreciated. I cannot find a pause button for solo, however. Is there a pause button?

Replayed as part of Sonic Origins Plus. My opinion on Sonic 1 has changed over the course of the past year or so. Most of what I've chalked up to as poor level design since I was 6 years old I've began to come to terms as just my own personal skill issues. So much of Marble Zone and Labyrinth Zone can be finessed with practice, and Scrap Brain remains a methodical test of skill that smartly tests your ability to maintain momentum. It's a genuine marvel of a game, the result of an uncompromised A-list dev team with an undying vision, and when viewed in a vacuum, Sonic the Hedgehog is not just unlike anything that came before it, it's a showcase of never before seen technological prowess and innovative mechanical design that blew everything around it out of the water. Here's to my favorite blue dude, the guy I've never given up on, and never will.

It's more SEGA Rally, and a lot more. Same addictive handling system, but with multiple GPs and cars to choose from. Been gravitating towards this one over Rally '06 on account of my inability to read simple Japanese. I've still been replaying this on and off for the past 3 months and I'm not going to stop any time soon.

An improvement so drastic from the original title it almost feels like a game from an entirely different franchise. An addictive ebb-and-flow of offensive options with rocketing chain grabs, screen-clearing magic mixing, and a dynamic levelling system make for such an improved sequel it feels out of place. It makes the carpal tunnel from the constant button mashing actually feel worth it this time. Why do these games not have auto-fire.

The Japan-only sequel to SEGA Rally that actually improves on quite literally everything: handling, track variety, communication, style, I could go on. Dreadful how little this game is known and how little-r it is appreciated. Haven't quite mastered it to the degree I have the OG Sega Rally CS due to its added complexity, but I am loving every second of figuring it out at every angle and every turn.

Review here. A (more than I expected) complex interconnected system of risk and reward mechanics make this so hard to put down. Such attitude and personality, a true mid-2000s racer.

Got sucked into this for an hour while trying to sprint through Yakuza 6. I love Outrun's spirit, its ethos, its fantasy; yet despite all I find it a ballache to play. Super Hang-On doesn't play on its predecessor's American Dream as hard, but it is all the more exhilarating to play. Every pass is a clench, every turbo a sweat break, every turn a prayer. Its environments plainer, flatter, and not as vibrant as its Californian precursor, but its spritework, particularly in your driver, is groundbreakingly projective. Every maneuver is verociously responded, every crash is violent and turbulent. Frenetically moment-to-moment, electrifying. Just imagining how this would play on its original motorcycle cabinet seat is the only proof needed that SEGA was locked in during this era, bridging the gap from screen to reality in ways nobody else could or was doing. I just wish it would let me put credits in faster after a Game Over.

Yeah whatever I finally got sucked into Fortnite for the first time. It's good, fuck.

Easy left! Easy right! Some of the best handling to exist, incredible manual drifts. Played the arcade on wheel, Saturn, Dreamcast and JP-Only PS2 versions, and is a knockout in every iteration. I recommend emulating the arcade version via M2Emu if you own a wheel and the PS2 Japan version for the closest/most accurate feeling on controller.

The best dungeons and trials in the entire game up to its point weighed down by an astronomical downpour of issues relating to everything else. A paper thin story stretched far beyond its capabilities, questlines that are just as or even more monotonous as A Realm Reborn before it, and writing that fails a number of its most important characters with uncomfortable sprinkles of misogyny and white saviorism. As much as it finally picks up in its final moments, the sour taste lingers even after the year long break I took from it after it had burned me out so badly from its monotony. If ARR was a test of your faith before you got to Heavensward, then Stormblood is an even harder test of your faith before you're let loose into the game's cinematic apex of Shadowbringers.

Played this years ago and got stuck or bored or whatever, I just didn't finish it. Revisited as part of the Backloggd Discord's Game of the Week. Still admittedly obtuse in some areas due in part by its awkward English but kept me enthralled by its unapologetic nonsensicality. 100% Pure Poin.

Flashy cultic mania on a pinball table, even if a bit too flashy at the cost of readability. Phenomenal FM sound design.

I adore the philosophy of arcade game "sequels" being just updates. It's the original Ridge Racer with a rearview mirror. So I guess it's the better version?

Review here. A sudden flip on the original's core philosophy, from puzzle solving to a combat focus really lost me here. Still has undeniable charm.

It's good. A mish-mash of questionable decisions ultimately not fully tainting a well intended experience, even if it struggles and arguably fails to justify its price point.

Cute, unique arcade game that I have no clue how to improve on even after clearing Drillworld. Still throwing my head at it though.

Review here.

Unremarkable new map locations, rescindance of some of the most fun traversal weapons in exchange for objectively less fun options, and admittedly no interesting objectives to pursue, on the map or on the BP. It's still Fortnite but if anything it's just a noticeable step down from Season 1.

Look, I like Sonic 2. It's a good game. I just think it gets a lot about what made Sonic 1 such an influential game wrong. It's an Americanized misunderstanding of Sonic's core concept, removing the priority of fast traversal as a reward for learning its physical intricacies in favor of introducing the Spin Dash and boost pads for the instantaneous, unrewarded gratification of speed. It's fun in one way to run through a boost pad and escape the confines of the camera from going mach speed, but it's a totally different feeling when you can learn to do it yourself. And what makes that so much different from Sonic 3, one of my favorite games of all time? Easy answer: half of the stages in Sonic 2 are a total bore. Branching pathways that all go right at different speeds without the wonder and enticement of exploration that Sonic 3 finally gets right. It's good, it's just.. you know.

Very unique and tight gameloop for a racing game. Loved its concept of "rivals;" somehow done better in one attempt than the entire Need for Speed franchise has been doing for 20+ years.

It's Crazy Taxi with the Simpsons. You're an insane person if you don't like it.

Thoughtful and light, surprised to experience that it's more of a reinterpretation than a remake. Some oddities that don't necessarily mesh well like the 3D segments don't do much to hamper the experience. Very short, low-carb. Will probably go back and get the rest of the collectables just for the hell of it.

Super short, super sweet, despite it being absurdly dickish in the second half. Impressive and vibrant animation and really interesting production history.

Undifficult and easygoing until the last maybe two worlds where it gets real brain tickly. Short, simple, sweet.

Saw this around for years but never cared for phone games, but of course I was going to go for it the second it came to PC/Console. I love its handling and the cute character designs, but something seems missing, whether it be its small weaponry pool or lack of any meaningful track choices, but for a live service game it has its whole lifespan to catch up. Fun and promising.

A simple pleasure from an insane premise. Not much depth but it's a game comfortably self-aware enough to not wear out its welcome.

I should probably just take out my PS3 and buy Daytona USA off the PS Store at this point.

Review here. An unexpected improvement on gameplay, utterly destroyed by its horrid, overcomplicated map design that even confuses itself.

It sure as hell drives. I don't think there's a simpler arcade racer out there. You press on the gas and the car goes. You turn the wheel and the car turns. Still enjoyable to play despite how little there is going on. Soundtrack goes fucking dummy.

Review? here. Unnerving, uncanny kart racer that plays better than it looks.

An aesthetical retheming of Puzzle Uo Poko. A fun and satisfying bubble popper that becomes more annoying as it progresses, as its insistince of a fixed color order and single-solution puzzles simply punish you for slight errors with little-to-no room for correction. Particularly frustrating in the late game as it simply only asks that you figure out the highly specific sequence it asks you to solve, only growing more complex and punishing. The joy of watching a huge chain reaction being pulled off is immediately dulled knowing you only did what the game wanted you to do; spectacles barely of your own making. I don't know why I like it as much as I do. It's cute. I like when she hugs the beetles.

It's loud, obnoxious, filled to the brim with strange American pop culture stereotypes and poorly green-screened bikini-clad women. It's a Midway racing game.

A modern ROM recompilation that smooths out a lot of the rough edges that made the original Outrun a bit grating for me to play. It hasn't turned me into a full-blown believer, but it far succeeds in being its de-facto Definitive Edition.

Lingering ever on and on. Even the better half of Stormblood's setting has burnt out. Yotsuyu's character arc has utterly plummeted with the worst possible writer's attempt to redeem the irredeemable; by robbing her of her memories, agency, and practically her whole free will. Entire stretches of scenes neither succeed in making sense of themselves nor justifying their existence. Throwing in a new villain of the week while failing the redemption of the last one. As if the baffling writing decisions would end there, leave it to the localization team to rewrite the condemnation of r*pe into centrist apologism. The only real positive is Gosetsu's return and initiation of his resignation as Hien's retainer, a wholesome fitting encore for my favorite character in Stormblood. Koji Fox can meet my hands.

This chapter really did get progressively worse and worse with every season. On the bright side, I thought the jungle was a great new added biome and the temples were neat, all of it played to the strengths of Chapter 4's parkour-focused movement with plentiful avenues to keep moving. Everything contentwise fell flat on its face here; bad weapons, no new interesting augments, battle pass content not worth the time premium or free (sorry Optimus Prime). I miss the Shockwave Hammer like a deceased relative.

Change the default controls to that similar to gamepad Taiko or Rock Band DS and it's a-ok 👍Excited to see how and where its future content updates pan out.

Not an Earth-shattering beat 'em up masterpiece by any means, but has enough love for The Simpsons and great sprite art that prevents me from objectively hating it, even for a below-solid brawler.

It's going by the same beats as the OG Ridge Racer; one course with 3 levels of difficulty. Except the course is worse. And the handling is worse. So it's the worst one.

Played one round and got all I needed out of it. Terrible board, no standout minigames. Incredible opening movie.

A well-intended and admittedly charming spiritual breakaway that runs right into its former's pitfalls: an overall misunderstanding of engagement and slippery, undeserving spectacle. Fails to fully kindle those "a-ha!" moments when you learn to cheese or skip chunks of levels or bosses of its inspirations; there's too many holes in its level, enemy, and boss design to truly feel like you've outsmarted it.

A one-note plateau of skill, so featureless it feels like I'm playing an alpha test. Its gameplay palette tries its best to be Trackmania without any attempt to recreate or invoke its mechanical invigour. Somehow, it doesn't bore me to tears. Being as forgiving as I am with racing games, I can at least grind at it while knocking out my music backlog.

A weak fart of a STG. Primitive lack of distinctive mechanics, boring stages, predictable enemy placements, insane difficulty spiking with coin-guzzling end stage bosses. Really not much that makes it stand out amongst other cute-em-ups.

I wanted to be the one Hololive fan to give this a fair look and analysis, especially in regards to the review bombing it's gotten on this site immediately on release. Unfortunately it's not very good. The haters win this time. The references are cute, though.

An extremely short game that also doesn't do much with its time other than be cute to look at. The Metal Harbor reference was cool though.

Tried this cause I was jealous of the buses on the highways in ETS 2. Except there's no highway drives at all that make ETS 2 so therapeutic, you're cramped in ugly small towns with fixed routes. Finnicky driving, horrible traffic AI, but the inbetween stuff like having to sell tickets and waking up sleeping passengers made it a little more interesting. Ultimately made the decision o refund on the last minute of Steam's 2-hour refund window.

If anything, it gave a nice perspective into how far Fortnite has evolved mechanically and sensibly, which is to say a lot because the OG map and its stripped down mechanics sucked profusely. Absolutely no reason to play as a No-Build player like me and the rest of the nu-gens who make up the largest portion of Fortnite's playerbase now, despite its pitiful efforts to level that playing field with grappling hooks and whatnot. I may have only started playing Fortnite with Ch4 Ep1 but this was the absolute least amount of time I put into a season and I dread its now-announced eventual return.

It's fucking Uno.

Really cool concept and visuals for a first-time GZDoom WAD, but its charming NES-era Castlevania aesthetics don't ease frustrations with its frustrating enemy AI. The music is a bliss, however.

Review here. Tiringly aestheticed, fumbles over itself in an attempt to "reinvent" the drift mechanic.

Probably the epitome of the 3DO's FMV corniness, with all the interactivity of a DVD menu. Wasn't actually a terrible time, just very obviously lacking in minigame variety and quality for a game show game as lengthy as it was, clocking in at around over an hour.

This was probably a wild thing to code in the mid-80's with such advanced physics for its time. Technically and aesthetically impressive. Oh, it's also not that fun to play.

Maddeningly poor to control, enough so that I genuinely believed I was at fault until I googled it and learned that no, the game does just feel that bad to play. Cotton's stupid fat ass follows your cursor at light speed immediately obstructing everything you are trying to aim at, making this series' semi-auto insistence on button-mashing all the more painful here. It's pretty though.

Beautiful art and rendering and cute comic book-style cutscenes can't elevate this game past how monotonous and lifeless it feels. It's not just the roguelike elements that don't add anything, it's also that they are shamelessly ripped straight from Supergiant's Hades that also make them feel all the more unneeded. I don't know if there's additional attacks you can unlock past the 3-hit X button mash it has, but I didn't feel like playing another hour to find out.

Stagnant, mind-numbing, creatively bankrupt. Almost insulting how this shares the name of a wildly better, nearly unrelated game.

A party game comprised solely of scraps of unengagement. Played one round. Lasted about 20 minutes. I wanted it to be over before 5.

You know what? I can, at the very least, give it some credit for some clever setpiece usage in the first level, and at least the gags are.. uh.. amusing. I don't want to talk about this game anymore.