One-Sentence Five Star Explanations
The bottom line for all of the games that I've given perfect scores.
49 Games
A game that teaches you can that can do it, no matter how impossible it might seem.
Blade Mode is a triumph and remains the greatest gimmick ever included in a character action game.
Other platformers are still playing catch-up to this over 25 years later.
Oh, he's just like me!
Survival horror is defined by Silent Hill, and the second entry in the series brings an incredibly strong story and soundtrack to back it up.
You ever made a game so good that it accidentally ruined an entire genre for a few years because everyone was just trying to copy you?
You ever made a game so good that it accidentally ruined an entire genre for a few years because everyone was just trying to copy you?
One of the finest re-imaginings of a game that nobody in the west played.
Outstanding, prescient piece of metafiction that shoves the player's hero worship back in their face.
This isn't even the last Kojima game on the list.
An entire publishing company exists at the scale it does thanks to this, and the indie scene looks a lot different for it.
What if one of the most fun Metal Gear Solid games had a camera that actually functioned properly?
DOOM's DNA runs through every first-person shooter that's been released in the past thirty years.
A game that would have been just alright in any other developer's hands executed to perfection.
I played this entire game in two sittings over a weekend and it was the most transcendental experience I've ever had.
A charming, fun, and quick-witted RPG that will probably be most enjoyed by your friends who "don't like RPGs".
Tetris is the platonic ideal of video games, but anyone who says it's their favorite is only doing so because they think Matthewmatosis would be impressed.
Hundreds upon hundreds of hours of fun to be had in a smash-hit poopy baby game that made a lot more indie developers start thinking about roguelikes.
If you can't quote the entire Dracula vs. Alucard pre-fight conversation verbatim, then I don't trust your opinions on games.
The single good MOBA that's responsible for all the bad ones.
A wonderful, subtle, anti-capitalist piece that effortlessly couches its ideology in cute(?) grandmas and decillions of cookies.
It's on here twice because it deserves it.
Never since DOOM has a first-person shooter understood its own enemies so well, and this understanding paired with the level design and soundtrack make it completely unforgettable.
The greatest party in video game history punches existential angst right in its stupid fucking nose.
Rail shooters could have stopped after this and nobody would have been the wiser, because anyone who cares about the genre would just be playing this until the sun burns out.
An absolute evil bastard of a golf game that marries skill and randomness in an addicting combination that will make you want to kill your friends.
Personality, style, and fun gameplay make for a defining cultural touchstone of the mid-2000s.
Puzzle games usually struggle to find a balance between too simple and too difficult, and Obra Dinn manages to walk that line for its entire runtime.
Giving a broken man another chance results in a story that can be cruel and beautiful at once.
Somehow manages not to do a single thing wrong from start to finish.
Every subsequent title Toby Fox has released has been better than the last, but it's hard to imagine him finding a stride more fluid than this.
Barkley deserves to be sincereposted about, but nobody will ever truly be brave enough to commit a serious review to it.
One of the greatest pieces of queer fiction ever written in any medium.
Pokemon distilled down to its utter essence, becoming a truly competitive title once freed from its aspirations of being anything other than raw, predictive gameplay.
Incredibly strong and unique narrative, art, and sound design make for a piece with some truly beautiful moments.
Games built for accessibility from the ground up are rare, and finding one that's this fun is rarer still.
An impeccable character action game that effortlessly contextualizes the intangible rhythmic gameplay of its contemporaries.
Easily the coolest thing I'll ever see in my entire piece of shit life.
Rare is it for a studio to rebuke their own thesis of what their genre is twice, and rarer still is it for it to be this good.
Shockingly beautiful, campy, and immensely fun.
Perhaps the only game that will ever provide a proper sense of scale.
You ever been inspired by a game so good that it accidentally ruined an entire genre for a few years because everyone was just trying to copy it, and then you managed to do it even better?
Fast, stylish, fluid arcade racing with one of the best soundtracks to ever come out of a video game.
Nintendo remembers how to give 2D Mario a personality after nearly two decades.
Codified survival horror as we know it, and is still mechanically unmatched after nearly thirty years.
You ever made a game so good that you decided to just do it again?
You ever made a game so good that the fans made it for you again?
A pivotal, raucous affair that perfectly nails a queer experience never seen before or since.
Complex and demanding, Stranger of Paradise is a masterwork in its pacing and ability to convey novel mechanics to the player without ever being overwhelming.
4 Comments
Hate how many times I felt that with Disco, but also the game gives you such freedom in how you play Harry that it's not terribly hard to superimpose yourself on him, I think. There were still multiple times I jokingly said a line to my friend as if I'd say it in Harry's place only for it to become an actual dialog option later.
I also catch myself repeating that Rez review in my head often lol
''Easily the coolest thing I'll ever see in my entire piece of shit life.'' LMAO
AlphaOne2
1 year ago